The Snacker

Comedian Mike Kelton is shocked by what he finds in Valerie's grocery bag. Let's just say someone has a serious snack habit!

Released on 6/27/2014

Credits

Starring: Mike Kelton
Director: Josh Ruben and Vincent Peone

Transcript

00:00
(funky music)
00:02
You're happy, you're living your life,
00:03
you're going to the club, trying to gain weight
00:05
'cause you want a big bum!
00:06
(Valerie gasps)
00:07
(funky music)
00:09
♫ Hey guys
00:10
♫ My name is Mike Kelton
00:12
I'm on the streets of Brooklyn with Epicurious.
00:15
Hi.
00:15
I'm sorry to stop you, what's your name?
00:16
Valerie.
00:17
Actually, I'm in a really big rush.
00:19
Oh, I know, we're gonna play a super fun game!
00:20
You love it to death!
00:20
Okay.
00:21
Wow, we got whipped cream, you guys.
00:23
So we know that she loves,
00:25
what is that, American pie?
00:27
What is that? Dessert.
00:27
Dessert.
00:28
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!
00:31
We got some Cheez Whiz.
00:34
This is a lotta cheese and cream.
00:36
Are you trying to bulk up for a bodybuilding competition?
00:39
'Cause I like to snack a lot.
00:40
You like to snack on stuff that's really high in calories.
00:43
But I say go for it!
00:45
You wanna gain weight girl?
00:46
You do your thing!
00:47
Here, you're probably going home right now,
00:49
you're just gonna make a good old weightlifting meal,
00:52
do those squats, do those bench presses in the morning.
00:55
You're gonna call your ex-boyfriend,
00:56
and you're gonna tell him that you miss him,
00:58
but you don't want him back.
01:00
I don't, I really don't.
01:01
Hey guys, I'm Mike Kelton.
01:03
And I'm here to say, you better subscribe to the
01:05
Epicurious channel.
01:06
But above all, stay Epicurious!
01:09
(whooshing)
01:10
You wanna touch my butt?
01:12
I do squats constantly.
01:14
(funky music)