Comedian Mike Kelton Plays Matchmaker for a Lonely Brooklyn Guy

Comedian and food enthusiast Mike Kelton talks canned goods and crying with one particularly lonely bachelor on the streets of Brooklyn. Then he plays matchmaker.

Released on 8/1/2014

Credits

Starring: Mike Kelton
Director: Josh Ruben and Vincent Peone

Transcript

00:00
(upbeat funk music)
00:02
So we got sweet peas.
00:03
It's a fun thing to eat if you're just like,
00:05
popping those peas in your mouth crying.
00:08
Do you cry a lot?
00:09
I do, yeah.
00:10
(upbeat funk music)
00:12
Hi guys.
00:13
My name is Mike Kelton and I'm here with Epicurious.
00:16
Hello sir.
00:17
Welcome to what's in your grocery bag.
00:20
How ya doing today?
00:21
Hi.
00:21
So we're just gonna go through your stuff
00:22
and I'm gonna tell you a little bit about you.
00:25
Oh, pineapple slices.
00:27
You're single.
00:28
Yeah.
00:29
You don't care about your weight.
00:30
You don't care about exercise.
00:33
How ya feelin?
00:34
Feelin okay.
00:35
I think you're a great guy, I just want you to know that.
00:37
Thanks.
00:38
You're clearly alone and depressed,
00:40
but, you know, a lot of people are.
00:43
We got pink salmon.
00:45
Pink salmon for a lonely guy living in Brooklyn
00:47
whose girlfriend just dumped him,
00:49
probably left him for a guy who works in banking,
00:51
is that right?
00:53
We got a lady.
00:54
Come on over here.
00:55
What's your name?
00:56
Geraldine.
00:57
Geraldine.
00:58
I want you to meet my friend Matt.
00:59
Hi Matt.
01:00
Hi.
01:03
Matt's gonna go home, he's doing a delicious dish tonight.
01:06
And he wants to know if you'll join him.
01:08
Sure, why not?
01:09
(laughs)
01:10
Can we see a little kiss?
01:12
Oh god, it's a winner!
01:14
Subscribe to the Epicurious channel to see what's cookin'.
01:19
For our winners, the best prize of all,
01:21
they get to kiss my sweet sweet freckled cheeks.
01:23
Now kiss these cheeks.
01:25
Get in here.
01:26
I love it to death.
01:27
(upbeat funk music)