50 People Try to Slice an Apple for Pie

It's as American as...buying it from the store, I guess. 50 people are asked not to hurl this baseball sized fruit, and to spare their primary cares from a bruising. They're coming- they're coming for pie. Nothing can keep those doctors away, now.

Released on 2/27/2018

Transcript

00:00
In these moments, I always try to think what would mom do?
00:02
If she sees this video she's just gonna hate me forever.
00:05
(epic orchestral music)
00:08
Oo.
00:09
Okay, so I'm not a baker.
00:12
I stick with brownies more than apple pies.
00:14
(bleep)
00:15
My grandmother was a real baker,
00:17
straight from scratch apple pies, peach cobbler,
00:20
you name it, she knew how to cook.
00:23
I'm not gonna lie, I don't like apple pie.
00:25
Assuming I should peel it.
00:28
(grumbles)
00:31
(scraping)
00:33
(apple thuds)
00:35
Ah!
00:36
Wait.
00:37
Apple pie has slices, right?
00:39
(knife whacks)
00:41
Uh.
00:43
Oops.
00:44
Ah.
00:47
I'm sure there is a tool that would be good.
00:50
This look like it'll do the trick.
00:53
Here I go.
00:56
Whoa.
00:58
(apple squelches) (blade chops)
01:01
Now it's stuck.
01:03
Uh. (bleep)
01:05
Screw you apple.
01:06
It's normally like gushy in an apple pie.
01:09
Oh, I know what to do, make it pasty.
01:12
(hammer whacks and thuds)
01:17
(maniacal laughing)
01:18
Yeah, I don't know what to do with this.
01:20
Alright so, step one.
01:21
Before you begin, if you've got an apple stem,
01:24
you've got to twist it and say the ABCs,
01:27
and whatever letter you land on
01:28
is the person that you're gonna
01:29
end up with for the rest of your life.
01:31
(whimsical orchestral music)
01:35
Ah-ha!
01:36
I'm gonna say that was F, and I perhaps I am with Frank.
01:39
I'm gonna peel this apple.
01:41
(apple scraping)
01:46
Okay, so I'll cut it in half.
01:47
(chopping)
01:50
Getting to some nice hefty slices.
01:55
And then you try to take out the seeds.
02:00
My father make apple pie, it's the best.
02:03
Slice each of these a little thinner.
02:06
(chopping)
02:09
I just eat it. (imitates gnawing)
02:11
But, okay.
02:13
(tape whirring)
02:16
There's a lot of right ways to slice an apple.
02:18
If we're cutting it for a pie,
02:19
we definitely wanna remove the skin,
02:21
so that's gonna be the first thing that I'm gonna do here.
02:24
(scraping)
02:26
Once my apple is skinless, the easiest way I find to
02:29
remove the core is to cut the apple into
02:32
four pieces, which is to take half
02:34
just to the side of the core here.
02:37
Half just to the side of the core here.
02:38
Lay my apple down and then two more wedges here.
02:43
Core gone.
02:44
If I'm making a pie, I'm probably gonna slice
02:46
all of these approximately a half inch
02:48
thick, something like that.
02:50
And same thing here, just come right through.
02:54
Then I have nice, even slices and that's
02:56
really important 'cause they're gonna cook evenly.
02:59
(laughs)
03:00
(epic orchestral music)
03:07
And that's pretty much what I would do, you know?
03:08
Just put it inside little pod thing
03:11
and then just, (whistles) but I really don't know,
03:14
'cause I don't really eat apple pie.
03:16
(epic orchestral music)